The Six Common Profiles of Fathers

The way you feel about your looks - like much of your self-image - is shaped in our childhood years.

While the world around you sends compelling messages about how a woman should look, it is within your family that your self-image is first formed.

While mothers are often blamed for their children’s self-image problems, fathers play as big a role. Through their views, actions and reactions, they transmit the societal norms of beauty to their daughters, who generally accept these notions as the male concept of beauty.

These six profiles of dads will not describe everyone and will fit no one exactly.  But you can use these categories to understand how your father has affected your own self-image.

The Endorsing Father

This is the father that every woman wishes she had. The endorsing father teaches his daughter to have a healthy attitude about her looks. He loves and values her for who she is, not whether she is bombshell beautiful.

If you have a dad like this, you undoubtedly know what a wonderful influence he has been in your life. The daughter of an endorsing father is able to deal with the changes that aging bring.

The Adoring Father

The adoring dad dotes on his daughter and frequently tells her how gorgeous she is. He prefers to see his daughter dress up rather than participate in any activity that involves getting dirty, telling her that she is much too pretty to get messy.

While some of the adoring dad’s actions may be similar to those of the endorsing dad, the message is very different. While the endorsing dad values his daughter’s beauty as one of her many admirable qualities, the message from the adoring father is that a big part of what makes her so special to him is the way she looks.

The Narcissistic Father

The narcissistic father needs to prop up his ego at all costs because deep down he feels fragile and questions his worth.

He views his daughter as a reflection of himself; picks at aspects of her appearance, thinking he does it for her own good. In reality, he assumes that what pleases him is what is good for her, and he has little idea of what her real feelings, needs and wishes are or how they could be met.

The Distant Father

The distant father pays little attention to his daughter. He may be absent - literally or emotionally - and the contact he has with his daughter may be haphazard and disinterested.

Truly distant fathers send very different messages to their daughters. They never seem to be able to remember their interests, friends, concerns or activities. This type of father my try to compensate by buying games, childrens musical instruments and other kids toys.

The Highly Critical Father

The critical father is never pleased with his daughter. If she gets a B+, it should have been A; when she buys him a gift, it is the wrong color. A man like this is almost inevitably very critical of his daughter’s looks.  

His daughter learns that she has to measure up, that there is no room for flaws; therefore she feels forever inadequate.

The Abusive Father

An abusive father’s actions teach his daughter that she is worthless. A girl who is beaten believes that if she had nay value, she would not be treated that way.

Often while her father is beating her, he also berates her and blames her, telling her that she is bad, worthless and ugly.